Resisting the Urge to Use “Blow Job” in the Title, and Failing.

You celebrate your way, I’ll celebrate mine.

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I wanted to loudly proclaim how much I dislike leaf blowers when a coworker mistakenly believed I’d be on his side of an innocent, “This is ridiculous!” comment.

He was watching a news report about the number of leaf blower complaints received by a police department in a place that had outlawed them. I agreed that it was ridiculous, but on the grounds that if leaf blowers are outlawed, why the hell are people still using them, generating the calls? His miscalculation was easy to make.

I like rakes. I’m a rake man. If I had a property in which to rake, I would own one. In the opinion of many people, that little “if” absolutely disqualifies me from commenting much further about property maintenance. Somehow not being a person who feels the need to remove an acre of leaves from anything leads many folks to ignore any protest I can produce when the method they use to do that very thing is loud, annoying, and as I pointed out to my coworker, smelly when accomplished with the typical two-stroke motor. It’s a version of the you-didn’t-vote-so-you-can’t-bitch argument and just as fallacious.

Happy Halloween everybody, and if you’re into mischief, there are plenty of two stroke motors that need a little sugar, plenty of enlarged hair dryers that need a good cord trimming.