Professional Cabinetry

Doug Stamper can be my Chief of Staff, but only during that time when he was on the wagon.


I now announce picks for my cabinet:

Vice President: My wife. (She’s very diplomatic. Love you, honey!)

Secretary of State: Edward Abbey (posthumous award)

Secretary of the Treasury: Kenneth Lay

Department of Defense: Dr. Strangelove

Justice Secretary: Johnnie Cochran

Secretary of the Interior: Martha Stewart

Secretary of Agriculture: Monsanto*

Department of Commerce: Oliver Twist‘s Fagin

Labor Secretary:

This guy:

Department of Health and Human Services: Dr. Jack Kevorkian (as represented by one gallon of bleach)

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Caterpillar, Inc.*

Department of Transportation: ROADS!

Energy Secretary: Richard Simmons

Education Secretary: The Flat Earth Society (as represented by a plate of meatballs)

Department of Veterans Affairs: The Westboro Baptists**

Department of Homeland Security: Tom, the man I caught scrawling something about Jewish people on the bathroom stall door.

*Corporations are people, too.

**Alternate for health and human services.

Author: Hontz

I am the best author at least one of you has ever read. There is no chance that after reading my blog you will think, "What an absolute weirdo."

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