You celebrate your way, I’ll celebrate mine.
I wanted to loudly proclaim how much I dislike leaf blowers when a coworker mistakenly believed I’d be on his side of an innocent, “This is ridiculous!” comment.
He was watching a news report about the number of leaf blower complaints received by a police department in a place that had outlawed them. I agreed that it was ridiculous, but on the grounds that if leaf blowers are outlawed, why the hell are people still using them, generating the calls? His miscalculation was easy to make.
I like rakes. I’m a rake man. If I had a property in which to rake, I would own one. In the opinion of many people, that little “if” absolutely disqualifies me from commenting much further about property maintenance. Somehow not being a person who feels the need to remove an acre of leaves from anything leads many folks to ignore any protest I can produce when the method they use to do that very thing is loud, annoying, and as I pointed out to my coworker, smelly when accomplished with the typical two-stroke motor. It’s a version of the you-didn’t-vote-so-you-can’t-bitch argument and just as fallacious.
Happy Halloween everybody, and if you’re into mischief, there are plenty of two stroke motors that need a little sugar, plenty of enlarged hair dryers that need a good cord trimming.
An update and some recommendations.
The trees are changing.
I, on the other hand, am editing. The draft is undergoing revisions and soon I’ll be selecting photos for it. I’ve never laid out a book with images before, so I’m excited to get started.
This is also a recommendation for all who read to take a look at Neil deGrasse Tyson’s version of Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey. It’s years old now, but I finally got around to watching the series while flat-sitting for some vacationing friends. Ann Druyan had a heavy hand in the making of this reboot, which was lovely to see. I’m also convinced that we need more things named after people like Carl Sagan and Tyson: Neil deGrasse Tyson Boulevard, Carl Sagan Center, The Tyson School of Etiology.
I read the Red Rising trilogy as well, and found it very violent but satisfying. I was nearly going to put the thing down after about 20 pages, but after a lamentably predictable start it goes into some entertaining directions and I found it hard to stop reading. If you’re in need of a fun sci-fi read and a little blood, find a way to put your eyes on it.
The equinox is almost upon us.
That’s all for now.
A milestone neither based on miles traveled nor made of stone.
The new book about all our travels back and forth across the country has reached this important (to me) point in its construction. Not that volume is representative of quality. Some facts:
- In answer to the question, “How long does it take to write 100,000 words?” the answer is, “About this long.” It’s taken me roughly eight months.
- 500 words per day, six days per week. It’s easier than I thought it would be. Very achievable for someone who didn’t think he had much to write.
- 237kb of storage space used for the text file.
- Created entirely with OpenOffice Writer.
- The book features 8 of our moves so far. There are 4 more to go. For now. 1 move has occurred during creation of the book, so subject to change.
- It’s over 75% written.
So I offer encouragement to anyone thinking of taking on a big project like this: don’t worry about selling it. It will be fun just to make it. One day you’ll have a printed copy for yourself, if nobody else, and it will have been fun to do.
Happy (belated) Solstice!
Playing a Cattle Decapitation album backwards actually removes plastic from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
The president keeps using #MAGA in his tweets. In the style of Satanists who inverted the cross and the scared parents who thought those same Satanists put messages into records played backwards (Remember that, kids?), I humbly submit a new pound-sign-letter-combination:
America is Great Already, Mister.
Substitutions can be made for the M, although my substitution is stymied by a semantic argument depending on whether you believe “mother” is one word, or only half of one.
Have a sane weekend!
Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean that it should ever be done by anyone. Ever.
I’ve learned the following by observing my fellow vehicle operators. These are apparently taught in Pennsylvania schools. I wish the Pittsburgh Left were the worst of it:
- (Note: this is not a Pittsburgh Left. I’ve omitted that one.) When turning left across traffic, it is perfectly acceptable behavior to pull out into one lane, forcing it to stop, and then to wait there for an opening in the other lane. Beeping at a person who does this means you just don’t understand.
- If you’re not doing at least 10-15MPH above the posted speed limit, you should be tailgated immediately at a distance not to exceed 10 feet.
- Tailgating actually works as a method to modify the behavior of another driver.
- Tailgating is the acceptable way to approach on-ramps and other merge points. That’s your highway and those other merging losers need to yield.
- Tailgating is actually the default method of vehicle positioning, and it is not to be referred to as tailgating, but rather “driving”. Tailgating is what you do at a Steelers game.
- When the person in front of you is allowed the space to merge at an on-ramp, that automatically means everyone in line has just been allowed to merge at that spot and should follow that person into it.
- Use your horn. For everything.
- When changing lanes, do so as rapidly and with as little warning as possible. Everyone else will understand that you’re about to change lanes by the way you’re driving.
- Every four-lane road is a highway, the left lane of which is for passing only. If you’re in it and not passing, you must be destroyed.
- You can actually see around blind corners and what’s on the other side of the crests of hills. Don’t worry about it.
As a pedestrian:
- Crosswalks are for tourists. When you’re ready for the pro circuit, try jaywalking.
- As a walking parent, always lead with the stroller. This will ensure the traffic will stop.
- If someone doesn’t stop for you when crossing at mid-block, that person should be cussed at. They’re always supposed to yield because you’re a pedestrian.
- Help your spouse into parallel parking spots from the street, holding up your hand like a traffic cop so that the traffic doesn’t kill you. Under no circumstances should this be done from the wide sidewalk immediately next to the car. (Okay, I only saw this once, but I have NEVER seen it before.)
Hope you had a good Memorial Day holiday, and remember to buckle up!